Wow. I’m glad I read this.
I never experimented with psychedelics when I was younger. I did mushrooms twice in my late teens and mid-20s, but they didn’t do much for me. I’ve never dropped acid, done ketamine or Ecstasy, or drank ayahuasca (etc.).
Recently, I’ve been really curious about doing a guided experience with psychedelics, especially shrooms again and ayahuasca (though the bad taste and notion of shitting myself and puking are turn-offs). I’ve been reading a lot about profound experiences with psychedelics.
The last time I did shrooms, during a summer cottage weekend in 2018, I essentially microdosed while everyone else took a “regular” amount. It made me realize that I had control issues. Fear of losing control held me back. Prior to that, I simply thought that I’d been too indoctrinated by TV shows that depicted the dangers of hallucinogens. Your experience is further inspiration for me to seek out the right experience for me. Losing control isn’t a bad thing, either.