Member-only story
The Case Against “Don’t Take It Personally.”
How do you feel when you hear, “Don’t take it personally”?
What do you think that statement means?
I detest the phrase and sometimes find it offensive. I recently realized the reason for my aversion. It comes down to the statement to not take it personally, as it comes out of someone else’s mouth.
As is my communication style, the following is honest with a smattering of humour.
The Second Agreement
In the book The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom by Don Miguel Ruiz, the second agreement is “Don’t Take Anything Personally.” And in his context, I’m okay with it.
Ruiz said,
Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream.
I agree with that 100%. Well, maybe 99%. I agree completely with the projection part, but not with the “nothing” part.
When someone gives us feedback about our behaviour or us as people, we need to remember that no opinions are truly objective; we all have our biases, our filters through which we view the world. They’re shaped by our experiences, our upbringing, our religion, culture and more. Because of this, we shouldn’t take anyone else’s view of…
