Outgrowing My Imposter Syndrome

Last May, I published a story called Waking Up From Imposter Syndrome.

In it, I shared how I’d written something that I liked a lot and that it reminded me that I’m good at stuff, particularly writing. I wrote that writing makes my soul happy and feels like playtime.

Waking Up From Imposter Syndrome.

I find that imposter syndrome tends to ebb and flow. We don’t conquer our demons and then never have to deal with them again. It’s an ongoing process.

Our egos — our inner Gremlins — tend to sabotage us, especially when we’re doing well.

My Gremlins are asleep. (Shhhh.)

Without thinking about it or deliberately working on it, my imposter syndrome seems to have faded even more.

In the last several months, I’ve found new confidence and positivity. Late last week I tweeted,

Last May I wrote, “Waking Up From Imposter Syndrome” (https://buff.ly/34b2126). Last week, I noticed that I feel even better about it. Today I shared that w a friend. IS might return on occasion (ego), but I think age & experience have given me confidence to step into my light.

Here are some reasons why I think that my imposter syndrome has faded.

1. Outgrowing Imposter Syndrome

Some of it is age and experience. Life experience has given me confidence. It’s provided more positive encounters and examples of ways I don’t suck. Time has provided me with practice to excel.

2. Working on my self

A few years ago, I was released from a contract job early. I know that it was my fault. While both set expectations and feedback lacked, it was ultimately my lack of confidence that held me back. I didn’t deliver action or results because I didn’t believe in myself. I was scared. I procrastinated. I felt out of my depth. Even though I’d worked hard to get the job and provided portfolio examples, and although they clearly saw potential in me, I didn’t see it in myself.

It didn’t take long after being released from my contract for me to realize that I’d sabotaged myself.

Lesson learned.

Of note: In the section heading above, I didn’t notice that I’d put a space between “my” and “self” until I was finished the first paragraph beneath it. The space wasn’t intentional, but it works, so I kept it. It’s possible that my subconscious — or whatever force is leading this piece of writing — made the deliberate decision to maintain “self” as a separate word.

The words “working on myself” are playing musically in my head to the tune of Billy Idol’s “ Dancing with myself.”

Well, there’s nothing to lose
And there’s nothing to prove, well,
Dancing a-with myself

3. Faith, and a life-changing premonition

In July, I had a dream that felt like a real vision of my future. The dream was SO vivid that it felt like there was no doubt.

This. is. going. to. happen.

I woke up with direct guidance about what to do next and what steps to take. I listened and did as told.

Premonition or not, I’ve spent every day thinking about this “dream”. Every day I daydream. I let my thoughts wander. Sometimes they wander into fantasy. Sometimes the daydreams seem to include more mundane moments. Even the imagined ordinary moments are worth appreciating.

I know that if this life change comes to pass, events won’t perfectly match my daydreams. The cast of characters will be different because I don’t know those people yet. If the people I’ve been in visions show up in real life , I can’t write the script for them. The events won’t be accurate, but even with challenges, that’s okay.

Feelings of love and positivity permeated the vision. The daydreams are full of love and positivity. That vibration keeps me going every day and has been attracting so much good stuff.

4. High vibration manifesting

This morning, I reached the final chapter of the book Super Attractor by Gabrielle Bernstein, the Kindle edition of which I pre-ordered in late July for the book’s late September release. I began reading the book a few weeks ago.

I woke up with direct guidance about what to do next. I was told what steps to take. And I took them.

Clear, aligned action. Or, as Bernstein calls it, “Taking spiritually aligned action.”

I started taking actions suggested in the book before I even opened the book on my Kindle app. I began after that day in July, when I woke up from my dream.

For the past few months, my mornings have begun with meditation and journaling. After I started Super Attractor, I added mantras from the book to my morning ritual.

I wrote about my morning routine — and how it made me over-confident — here:

High vibes, positive energy, fewer worry

What does “Super Attractor” have to do with imposter syndrome?

I’ve stopped worrying. At least, most of the time, I’ve stopped worrying. My faith is strengthened again. I feel like I know a secret that no one else knows. I feel powerful and empowered. I feel awesome. Some mornings, I exit a meditation with the thought, “I am a manifesting goddess.”

I believe in myself. I believe that I’m supported.

Coincidence?

Last Sunday, November 17, I wrote in my journal precisely the type of job I want and what salary I desire. It’s not the first time I’ve done this. I’ve done those “perfect day” visioning exercises before with no results, but this wasn’t a full visioning exercise, it was a word dump of preferences. My journal is often a word dump. My thoughts, fears and aspirations get scrawled onto the page. Sometimes the writing very much feels like it’s coming from my mind, or my ego, sometimes it feels like it’s coming from my heart, and sometimes I feel like the words aren’t even mine. It’s particularly cool when my handwriting, usually sloppy, suddenly becomes neat and legible. Sometimes I joke, “Who wrote that??”

Three days later, I applied to a job from a posting with no salary range mentioned. While extensively describing the role’s functions, the job posting did not cover everything I wrote down. For example, I wrote, “Ideal: They hire me ASAP remotely.”

There was no hint of a remote-work possibility in the job listing.

A day later — so, mid-week, the hiring manager contacted me for an interview and told me two things about the job that the job posting had not mentioned. I had written both of these things in my journal. The salary was one of them. That she was willing to hire remote was the other.

So, it seems that this stuff might work.

Age and experience have given me the confidence to step into my light. That experience includes experiencing these subtle and not-so-subtle shifts.

Do you understand “manifestation”?

A lot of people are under the misapprehension that manifestation requires no action, only desire and positive thinking or positive energy. Of course, it requires action. It takes spiritually aligned action.

Every day we’re faced with choices. We can choose to act of fear or out of love. Doing nothing is also a choice. All of these are valid and reflected in the results.

What results do you want? What do you choose? It’s not easy. Doubt can affect the results we think we want, and so we get the opposite.

You don’t have to believe in it for it to be true.

Suspend your disbelief. I invite you to pretend and to dream. Put your whole Self into it. Play. Imagine, “What if.” Be joyful about it. Surrender to the possibility. Then, tell me if changes have occurred.

Some things won’t be possible. Someone with an undergrad degree in philosophy is unlikely to become an astronaut unless they go back to school for a new academic career. However, so much is possible.

Remember — your dream might seem like something that can only happen to other people, but ask yourself, “Why not me??”

Join my email list to get notified of new posts and other free resources as they’re created.
(By clicking, you agree to leave Medium.com and submit your contact information, which will not be shared.)