Do You Give Away Your Power?

“The most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don’t have any.” -Alice Walker

I read this quote today while looking for blog ideas. My task list for today (Monday) included, “Plan a week’s worth of blog posts w/ prompts.” So, to quotes, I went. I found this Walker quote in a listicle.

The quote stopped me in my tracks. I hope I’m not guilty of cultural appropriation here. I know, Walker meant it in a specific context.

Still, it stopped me.

I’ve often been guilty of giving up my power, of not speaking up, of giving up too quickly because it seems more comfortable and like a way to keep the peace. I’m a people pleaser who doesn’t like conflict. This is who I am. I can decide to change or decide not to change. Either way, it is a choice. I write my script. I create the narrative.

Walking the talk

I’ve been going through a time of change, of stepping into power and feeling more powerful. This morning I took an action that I should have taken months ago, that would have saved me lots of stress and might have saved someone else sleeplessness. Instead of taking this action, I allowed myself to feel bullied. I allowed myself to get small instead of stepping up and being proactive with a solution.

The action I took was one previously suggested to me with a threatening tone. “Why don’t you…?” I don’t like feeling threatened, but I put my head down. If I had a tail, it would have been between my legs. I want to think I’m not like that. I know I’m not unique in that.

While giving my power away in what didn’t feel like a consensual manner, I acted like a stubborn child. I refused to eat my vegetables at all and spit them out when force-fed (metaphorically, of course). Every so often I’d take a bite, regard them with distaste, nibble some more, swallow large chunks, and push the objectionable food away. The real story doesn’t matter here, and it’s a private matter. You’ll understand the metaphor from your own experience, or you won’t.