I Apologize & Hope You Forgive Me

The statute of limitations on apologies.

Photo by Imat Bagja Gumilar on Unsplash

My mental chatter about these two events

Did I ever apologize to these friends? Should have I apologized? (Probably?) What would happen if I did apologize years later? What use would it be? They’ve probably forgotten. At least one is married and a mom, so it worked out for all of us.

The nature of apologies

These thoughts are not unique. I’m not breaking new ground here. However, I believe that asking for forgiveness after time had passed would only serve to assuage my own feelings of wrongdoing.

Yom Kippur & forgiveness

Forgiveness is a significant component of Yom Kippur.

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Ego or compassion?

One of the reasons that people apologize, confess and ask for forgiveness is related to their feelings of guilt and shame. A person’s ego prefers to pester with messages that they’re wrong, bad, and unworthy.

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Who benefits?

While it’s often essential to apologize to others, it’s most important to forgive ourselves first and then decide why we want to apologize. We could ask ourselves where the need to apologize is coming from and why we desire forgiveness. Is it coming from love (compassion) or fear (ego)? It might be coming from both. Are we genuinely looking to make amends, or do we want to be liked? Again, maybe both. If we are apologizing with love and a desire to admit our mistakes, will that apology benefit its recipient?

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How To Apologize And Take Responsibility When You Make A Mistake

The day after I had these thoughts on the hike, I opened a relevant newsletter from Gabrielle Bernstein. This note was a mea culpa regarding a recent incident when her actions — the result of tiredness and overwhelm — upset people. It was a lesson for her and for her readers. The newsletter linked to instructions about how to apologize and take responsibility.

Apologize to yourself.

Communicate loving thoughts and send the message of love to your physical body, your organs, your mind/ego, your cells. Forgive yourself for acting as your own enemy. Make peace with your external environment and your internal one.

Digital Marketing Manager | Freelance Writer | ADHD Coach for adults | Available for hire. http://andreawrites.ca.

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